Sworn In!

This evening I was sworn in as a guardian ad lidem for Collin County,phew, talk about pressure. Truthfully, I am super excited about this opportunity but it IS a big deal. This is not volunteering on the weekend once a month, this is a life choice to help children any time they need it. And that scares me. We were told some gruesome stuff during training that we will come across and it makes you see what these children are dealing with, internally and externally. So I will get my first case soon...

Me+CASA

Well, I had an interview on Tuesday with CASA and(so far) I'm in. All of the volunteers have to take 30 hours of training classes which begin tomorrow at 8am and continue on for the next week and a half. After the interview I was excited because this seems to be exactly what I thought it would be, and I am still a little scared. Each member has to make a one year commitment to the program and I know that I am not ready for what will come...but Christ is! My hope is that through the training, the waiting, the children, the pain, the horror, the joy, and the tears I will experience(whether I see it or not) the work of God in my life and the lives of those around me. I want to preemptively thank everyone who prays/is praying for me because it may seem at some times I have forgotten that you do, but He reminds me of your love. I will update as much as possible.

But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb. And she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet. They said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping?" She said to them, "They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him." Having said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?" Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away." Jesus said to her, "Mary." She turned and said to him in Aramaic,"Rabboni!" (which means Teacher). Jesus said to her, "Do not cling to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to my brothers and say to them, 'I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'" Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, "I have seen the Lord"—and that he had said these things to her.

And as they led him away, they seized one Simon of Cyrene, who was coming in from the country, and laid on him the cross, to carry it behind Jesus. And there followed him a great multitude of the people and of women who were mourning and lamenting for him. But turning to them Jesus said, "Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me, but weep for yourselves and for your children. For behold, the days are coming when they will say, 'Blessed are the barren and the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed!' Then they will begin to say to the mountains, 'Fall on us,' and to the hills, 'Cover us.'For if they do these things when the wood is green, what will happen when it is dry?"
Two others, who were criminals, were led away to be put to death with him. And when they came to the place that is called The Skull, there they crucified him, and the criminals, one on his right and one on his left. And Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." And they cast lots to divide his garments. And the people stood by, watching, but the rulers scoffed at him, saying, "He saved others; let him save himself, if he is the Christ of God, his Chosen One!" The soldiers also mocked him, coming up and offering him sour wine and saying, "If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself!" There was also an inscription over him, "This is the King of the Jews."
One of the criminals who were hanged railed at him, saying, "Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!"But the other rebuked him, saying, "Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong." And he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom."And he said to him, "Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise."
It was now about the sixth hour, and there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour, while the sun’s light failed. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Then Jesus, calling out with a loud voice, said, "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!" And having said this he breathed his last. Now when the centurion saw what had taken place, he praised God, saying, "Certainly this man was innocent!" And all the crowds that had assembled for this spectacle, when they saw what had taken place, returned home beating their breasts. And all his acquaintances and the women who had followed him from Galilee stood at a distance watching these things.

Least of These

I had many misconceptions about marriage before mine, I think everyone does. The aspect of self denial caught me off guard more than anything. Within months of being married I recognized the many layers of selfishness I had wrapped myself in. To this day I am ashamed of the pride and arrogance I bring before my wife and even more my God. Those hidden qualities have bore the fruit of envy, self service, and covetousness. I find myself wanting what one neighbor has and showing off what the other does not. The only cure for this is the humility found in Christ, I cannot beat this. I feel the only thing I can do is sacrifice my life for Him, and I am reminded of Matthew 25...

"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.' Then the righteous will answer him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?' And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'

So I have decided to serve the "least of these" in one capacity. I am going to volunteer for a group called CASA(Court Appointed Special Advocate). CASA volunteers are appointed by judges to watch over and advocate for abused and neglected children, to make sure they don’t get lost in the overburdened legal and social service system or languish in an inappropriate group or foster home. They stay with each case until it is closed, and the child is placed in a safe, permanent home. For many abused children, their CASA volunteer will be the one constant adult presence—the one adult who cares only for them. I have an interview next Tuesday April 14 at 10am with someone in the McKinney office. I am scared to death, but excited at the possibilities. If you do read this, please be praying for me. I really need it.

The Best Deal

So I read this random quote on a day by day tear out calendar:

"Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is, without a doubt, the best deal man has ever made." Roger Caras

Somewhere in here is a relatable spiritual lesson for me. I guess if I could change it, it would go like this:

"God has given us His absolute all. He should be the center of our universe. He should be the focus of our love and faith and trust. He loves us in return for scraps. It is, without a doubt, the best deal man has ever received."

Religion vs. Relationship II

This October my wife and I will have been married for 4 years, but we have known each other for 9. Because we have spent so much time together there are times that I know exactly what she is thinking and vice versa. There is an unspoken language between us that motivates me to do things for her that I necessarily wouldn't do for anyone else, I know what makes her happy and sad and angry. When I choose to do the right thing for her, I don't pray about it or wait for a sign from her, I just do it because I love her. However, I don't always make great decisions. I have hurt her many times in our relationship, sometimes very deeply. Thankfully she has forgiven me for those things, and it has drawn me closer to her so when I choose to do the right thing for her out of love it's because I remember what she has done for me and it humbles my heart. In that humility, I am drawn closer to her and her to me. Therefore, how did I ever believe that my relationship with God could be any different. Not only has He forgiven me for countless more sins, but He loves me far more.

For the past few years I have been walking around with a religious chip on my shoulder, blaming others for the state of the church with malicious intent in my heart. Yet I never did a thing about it but complain and let my pride harden my heart further towards others and towards God. How did I get to that point? Could it have been that I practiced religion instead of pursuing a relationship?

Over the past few months I have had several conversations about being a Christian and a common response I get is a dislike or even disgust with religion. People refuse to hear the gospel not because they primarily hate God (they don't know Him, how could they?) but because of some experience they have had with religion, whether it be a church or individual. I had a girl tell me she didn't care about God because some people she was staying with had taken her before the church one day and rebuked her for specific sins in her life, she wasn't a christian. The part of the story that pierces me now is my reaction to it, "Not me, I would never do that." Man, the pride just rises up out of my heart. Although I hurt for that girl, I also hurt for that family who thought what they were doing was right. Religion can hurt not only those who are victims of it but also those who practice it. So, where am I going with this?

Religion says "Do these things and you will get to heaven", Jesus says "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."(John13:6) Jesus Christ is not a religion, He is the living Son of God, practice of certain deeds does not do any good if I have no relationship with Him. I am not completely against religious activities: i.e. church attendance, quiet times, bible studies, summer retreats. However, if I make these things ultimately important to who I am before God I feel I am an idolater, I hide my pride and selfishness behind "godly" activities which don't draw me closer to Him because I refuse to let go of my sin. Honestly, I love my pride too dearly to let it go. Because I know I can't fix this, what am I to do?