Religion vs. Relationship II

This October my wife and I will have been married for 4 years, but we have known each other for 9. Because we have spent so much time together there are times that I know exactly what she is thinking and vice versa. There is an unspoken language between us that motivates me to do things for her that I necessarily wouldn't do for anyone else, I know what makes her happy and sad and angry. When I choose to do the right thing for her, I don't pray about it or wait for a sign from her, I just do it because I love her. However, I don't always make great decisions. I have hurt her many times in our relationship, sometimes very deeply. Thankfully she has forgiven me for those things, and it has drawn me closer to her so when I choose to do the right thing for her out of love it's because I remember what she has done for me and it humbles my heart. In that humility, I am drawn closer to her and her to me. Therefore, how did I ever believe that my relationship with God could be any different. Not only has He forgiven me for countless more sins, but He loves me far more.

For the past few years I have been walking around with a religious chip on my shoulder, blaming others for the state of the church with malicious intent in my heart. Yet I never did a thing about it but complain and let my pride harden my heart further towards others and towards God. How did I get to that point? Could it have been that I practiced religion instead of pursuing a relationship?

Over the past few months I have had several conversations about being a Christian and a common response I get is a dislike or even disgust with religion. People refuse to hear the gospel not because they primarily hate God (they don't know Him, how could they?) but because of some experience they have had with religion, whether it be a church or individual. I had a girl tell me she didn't care about God because some people she was staying with had taken her before the church one day and rebuked her for specific sins in her life, she wasn't a christian. The part of the story that pierces me now is my reaction to it, "Not me, I would never do that." Man, the pride just rises up out of my heart. Although I hurt for that girl, I also hurt for that family who thought what they were doing was right. Religion can hurt not only those who are victims of it but also those who practice it. So, where am I going with this?

Religion says "Do these things and you will get to heaven", Jesus says "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."(John13:6) Jesus Christ is not a religion, He is the living Son of God, practice of certain deeds does not do any good if I have no relationship with Him. I am not completely against religious activities: i.e. church attendance, quiet times, bible studies, summer retreats. However, if I make these things ultimately important to who I am before God I feel I am an idolater, I hide my pride and selfishness behind "godly" activities which don't draw me closer to Him because I refuse to let go of my sin. Honestly, I love my pride too dearly to let it go. Because I know I can't fix this, what am I to do?